State of the Rantdom

*blows cobwebs off blog*

** eeeew, get that spider off my leg!!!**

My subjects, forgive me for failing to update you on the status of the Rantdom! The upkeep of the Rantdom is proving to be a challenge, one which I, as your self appointed leader, have been meeting admirably. Nary a day passes by where I don’t face a challenge which seems insurmountable. The world is a dangerous places and a lesser man would long ago have wilted under the pressure I face on a daily basis, but I persist. I refuse to yield to the pressures of this office for I have been put here to serve a greater purpose. I would like to take this opportunity to address some issues pertinent to our Rantdom.

It’s been a long time since I last wrote something here. It’s hard to do my schoolwork on time, it’s harder to find time to write something coherent here. I suppose the time I spend on public transport could be used for this, but whatever. So many things are happening all the time and it’s hard to keep track of all this chaos, but if I can’t keep track of all this, who else can?

My chief of staff has alerted me that large numbers of people have spent copious amounts of time waiting in line for a ‘new’ consumer product. I hear that they have been convinced by men in plain t-shirts that this product is the best thing since their previous ‘new’ product. Since my subjects seem to have so much energy and money, I have decided that Saturdays are no longer off days. Henceforth, the Rantdom operates on a six day work week and minimum wage will be reduced.

So the iPhone 5 was finally ‘unveiled’. Quotation marks because almost all the specs had been leaked many weeks prior to the launch. I dont understand how the Tshirt Technocrats at Apple think that they can clamp down on leaks so effectively. They have made a consumer product which is so eagerly awaited and still expect to be able to conceal the vital details until launch? The only way they can do that is to make every single aspect of the phone themselves and allow the factory workers no contact with the outside world for a year. Considering their nature, I would not put it past them actually. But kudos to the fruit heads, they’ve made a sexy phone which I probably will get. And for anybody who wants to compare the specs between the S3 and i5, i really dont give much of a fuck about the specs. Its a nicer looking, nicer feeling phone with good enough specs for me. It’s a smartphone, i just need to call message and use the Net. If i want to watch movies, I do so on a television. Even then, I would never queue 12 hours for something which i can get one week later without queueing for as long. Apple is a cult, I swear.

My advisors have also informed me that there is a crucial election occurring in North America, forgetting that their current President is my good friend. I truly believe that compared to the mendacious, bellicose buffoon who is opposing him, he would be the better choice for the next four years. I understand that leaders should try to refrain from inserting themselves into external elections but I cannot stand idly by in this case. It is not in our interests to have another pre-emptive war in the Middle East which will more likely be the case if his opponent wins.

Now it’s time for an update on the American presidential elections. Current forecasts seem to indicate an Obama win, but there is still a month to go and there are three debates which might have a large impact on the race. Hopefully, nothing much changes and I can spend the next few years continuing to follow the political scene there. I still wonder how the Republican ticket is actually still in the running when they have run an entire campaign based on lies. (36 different posts all chronicling lies!!!!) All politicians spin to an extent but I didn’t think it was possible to run for the position of the world’s most powerful leader by lying, race-baiting and dog-whistling all the way. And it takes some nerve to project that your opponent is actually the lying scumbag. It’s annoying since the media does not even call them out for their consistent lying. I used to enjoy watching US political talk shows but i just find them nonsensical and pointless nowadays. There will be two sides arguing about every issue by spewing talking points and a moderator whose only job seems to be alerting them when it’s time for a commercial break. Their electorate seems to be even more polarized now and watching these shows is just a painful waste of time, so I spare myself the torture and just read about the events instead. I am certain that Romney would go to war with Iran and do as Bibi beckons, so I really hope he does not win. I am not saying that Obama is perfect but with the crap he inherited and the unyielding opposition he faced, it’s great that they’ve actually managed to replace the jobs lost in the recession. I really think that if Obama was a a white Republican guy, this would not even be a contest. If Barack Obama is the worst President ever, who is actually a secret Kenyan, socialist, Muslim, racist usurper hell-bent on destroying America, why did none of the more prominent, promising Republicans run against him to save their country from certain doom?

My fellow citizens, we have come a long way from that stormy May evening when I embarked on the journey as your leader It feels like just yesterday that I took my oath of office and affirmed my commitment to serve the Rantdom . Every night before I go to bed, I never fail to think about the incredible responsibilities that i have been entrusted with and at times I feel burdened. During those moments, I think of what Lincoln once said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”. I have been tested more than I ever imagined I would and consequently, I have grown as a man, as a leader and as a Ranter. I hope you will continue to support me as we move forward towards a better day and brighter future, together. Thank you.

Sometimes I am in awe at my ability to write so much nonsense in a seemingly incoherent manner. If only there was a way to harness this ability for good instead of evil. There used to be a time where I dreaded being told to write 300-500 word essays, now i write thousand word essays for no rhyme or reason. Maybe one day in the distant future when I read these entries again, I will laugh at my youthful idiocy or cry thinking about what I wasted my time on. It’s much more likely however,that I will be astounded by the insight I showed at such a tender age and researchers will use this as proof that genius manifests itself in many ways. Hopefully, it will not be that long till I next come around to tend to my Rantdom.

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