Naming Ceremony

Let’s play jeopardy!

Dilemma, Conundrum, Predicament. Answer: Words which cannot be used to describe my decision to quit my temporary job.

They are also words which cannot be used to describe my decision to resume my job as a full time daydreamer. However, I soon remembered that this job does not pay well and I still have to put food on the table for my wife and kids. Thus I decided to freelance as a Business Branding Consultant. I managed to obtain two Branding Contracts,for an educational institution and construction company. This post shall serve as both the written record of my brainstorming process and justification for my remuneration.

The contract for the educational institution,specifically a tuition centre, states that the name should be one which suggests that the students are winners and should have belief in themselves. I have also been allowed a liberal amount of artistic license by the organisation.

My belief is that names should be catchy, yet relevant. One possible name could be Genius Factory. The good thing about this name is that it is different from the normal tuition centres and sounds catchy. However it seems to suggest that the centre churns out students like a production line. The word ‘factory’, also has a negative connotation when it comes to education, students would not want to go to a place where it seems they will have to endure rote learning( that’s what school is for!!).

Some people have favourite colours. I feel like a geek for saying this but I have a favourite word. Savant. I learnt this word some time back watching a show on Discovery Channel and I’ve loved it since. It is actually a medical condition but one of its definitions is ‘learned person’. I think ‘Savant Avenue’ is a damn cool name for a tuition centre. Sort of like ‘Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters’ from the X-men comics. It also seems like a play on the phrase Seventh Avenue, there’s a Sixth Avenue but no Seventh Avenue. The name suggests that the Centre is a place for gifted youngsters, not necessarily book smart but with hidden talents which can be tapped.

Heuristic: (of a method of teaching) Allowing pupils to learn things for themselves. Now does not that sound like a cool word! Heuristic hub, that would be a catchy name because students will automatically wonder what that word actually means. In essence, the name just means that different teaching methods will be used in the Centre, but it is a bit of a tongue twister.

One could also use short phrases for the name of the Centre. Ideally, the phrase should have a motivational effect and not be too long. One possibility is “Unleash your potential’. This would dovetail with the Centre’s stated aim to motivate and help any student to be able to study well. ‘Limitless learning’ would also have a motivational feel to it, suggesting that students should not limit or set boundaries for themselves. “Awake.Aspire.Achieve” would be quite a nice name for the Centre. It would be a succinct way to express the Centre’s mission.

This is a shortlist of the various names I have managed to come up with for the tuition centre so far. Obviously, there were a few more ideas but I have deemed them unworthy of mention or memory. Personally I feel that the name of a tuition centre should be short and sweet. AND COOL, it has to be cool!. Importantly, if there is an intent to expand in the future, the name should be like a brand. Children should be attracted to it and feel proud to say they study there.

The construction company has only one condition, any possible name should have a Singaporean flavour. It is a joint venture between two of the big players in the local construction scene,each with very ethnic names. So for this new company, they would like to have something which everyone can relate to.

The first name that came to my mind was Chilli Crab Construction. Stop laughing, this is the problem with asking people to come up with something Singaporean. From young we’ve been trained to think of Singapore as a

1. Clean and green garden city

2.Tourist Paradise

3. Food Haven

So naturally, I think of Chilli Crab, Chicken Rice and Roti Prata when told to think of Singapore. Though catchy, it seems like quite a stupid name for a company, sort of like a joke company.

Secondly, I thought of Red Dot Construction. Red dot is a term which has become synonymous with Singapore, thanks to the efforts of foreign leaders trying to belittle us. It has a local flavour which is not particularly unique to any ethnic group too.

Thirdly, I thought of SingaBuilders. I don’t think I have to elaborate why this name has a local flavour, its quite obvious. Maybe Heartland Builders would be a nice name, it has a soft, non-corporate feel to it. The fact is, most Singaporeans do live in the heartland and the name makes it seem like the company builds homely places.

For now, that’s all the possible names i can think of. Hopefully, one of the names from the shortlist will pass muster with the powers that be. If not, I will understand and get on with my life.

My fees still apply nonetheless. I’ve got kids to feed,dammit!